Aftermath (Drago's Mount Cont)
by 10Blue10
Summary: (A continuation of 'Drago's Mount' by 'PutMoneyInThyPurse') When Toothless collapses after Drago's defeat, they discover his injuries and realise he was beaten. Hiccup takes Gothi up on a mysterious offer to see his dragon's memories; they turn out to be much worse than he expected.


Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD

A/N: As you have no doubt guessed from the title, this is a continuation of the fic 'Drago's Mount' by PutMoneyInThyPurse, aka Sarah. She'd mentioned wanting to work in some kind of dream-walk with Hiccup discovering what happened, and she recently suggested I have a go of it myself. So, yeah.

I don't think you'll need to read 'Drago's Mount' before this one but it might help to do so anyway.

* * *

Aftermath

" _Long live the Chief! Long live the Chief!"_

It's finally over. Drago is gone, hopefully for good; Hiccup is safe. He's safe and Gothi has made a mark on his forehead, and the humans are all chanting and cheering for him. Hiccup is the Chief now. Toothless is the Alpha of the dragons because he challenged the other Alpha and won, for Hiccup. His rider is the chief of the village because….because of what Toothless has done.

Still…he's proud of his Hiccup.

Toothless' legs shake. No, no, not now. He can't grieve and be weak now, he just became the alpha, he needs to be strong for them…for Hiccup…he's _so_ tired, and he hurts, from carrying Drago and the beating earlier, that he never had a chance to recover from…Gobber is talking. "So, what are your orders, chief?" he asks Hiccup.

Hiccup's scent is all over the place, he smells of _relief fear nervous unsure_ , as if he's happy but frightened at the same time. The cheering dies down, and Hiccup stands tall – like Toothless should be doing, it's just a few bruises, and he's lasted this long, hasn't he? He's fine. Everything's fine.

"We need to get everyone accounted for; Astrid, you help Gothi triage the wounded. Fishlegs, check the wells and start collecting fresh water if they're damaged or covered. Snotlout and the twins, round up the livestock; Gustav, take the A-Team out to help with fishing. We'll have to camp out in the Great Hall until we can clear away this ice and rebuild."

His people move to carry out the tasks that are as familiar to them as oiling their weapons. Toothless aches, but he follows Hiccup's lead. ' _No fighting. One pack now. Dragons from Berk, help your humans. Dragons from Ice Nest, rest on the cliffs. Dragons with metal-skins, go with other half's dam and human flock's Beta. They'll take the bad metal away*_

He looks over at Valka, and sees her staring at him. She _knows_. He doesn't know how he knows that she knows, but she does. ' _Don't tell him'_ he begs her. He doesn't want Hiccup to worry. Besides, he's ( _hungry tired thirsty hurting grieving_ ) fine, and he has to help Hiccup and help the dragons, he doesn't have time to help himself. ' _I'm okay. Please don't tell him_ '.

Valka looks sad, but she doesn't listen. "Hiccup" she says, and he turns to her, "I think something's wrong with Toothless." Just like that, Hiccup stops giving orders and rushes to his side, holding his head. Toothless tries to meet his eyes, but he can't quite seem to focus. "Hey, bud, what is it? What's wrong"- he strokes Toothless; his hand brushes a sore spot and Toothless flinches. _Oh no._

Now Hiccup is focused. "Toothless? You're hurt! What happened?" He checks Toothless over, frantic but careful, and they're all crowding around…

Toothless' legs shake again. He tries to pull away and stumbles. "Toothless! Easy, bud, easy. Oh, you must be exhausted…Mom, what happened to him?!"

"He's been bruised, badly, all over" she replies.

"I can see that! But how?!"

"Maybe it was when all that ice crashed down?" suggests Astrid.

Toothless doesn't feel so good. Everyone sounds like they're in a deep cave, but they're right there...he can't see right. It's all blurry, like when…when…is the ground moving? Why is it moving? Stop it, ground. "Toothless, it's okay. You're gonna be okay." That's Hiccup talking…he thinks, it's all so blurry. His ears are ringing. He sways. _No…I have to…I can't… 'Cloudjumper?'_

' _Yes, Alpha?'_

'… _take over'._ Everything goes black.

* * *

"No, no, no! Toothless!" When his best friend collapses, Hiccup throws himself down beside Toothless. He checks the dragon is breathing, checks for a heartbeat – after everything, he couldn't bear it if he lost his closest friend as well. His mother and Astrid come to his side, trying to reassure him. "He's alright, Hiccup. He's just fainted" Valka tells him.

"If he was alright he wouldn't have fainted!" he snaps at her. She flinches, and he groans. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I just don't…what _happened_ to him?" More importantly, _how did I not notice he was hurt?_

Hiccup has never felt so torn in his life. He just became the chief, the village is wrecked, they need him…but his best friend needs him too! He can't do both at once. If his dad were here…

 _Dad…I'm sorry…_

He takes a deep breath and asks, "Mom, can you and Cloudjumper take him to the Great Hall? I'll be there as soon as I can." She nods, looking sympathetic. The dragons are all crooning and rumbling in concern, worried for their fallen Alpha – and in the case of some, their injured friend.

Hiccup moves without thought, going through the all too familiar motions of clearing up after a battle. The other villagers offer condolences for Stoick's death. Some of them ask what happened to him, and Hiccup doesn't know how to answer. The first few times, he replies "He died in battle, saving me."

The second few times, he says "Drago killed him."

Finally, he snaps "Would you please stop asking me?"

At last, Astrid sees the anguish on his face and places a hand on his shoulder. "Go to Toothless" she urges him, "We can get things sorted out here."

"Aye, she's right, Chief" Gobber agrees, "We've got this. You oughta help your dragon." Everyone encourages him to make sure Toothless is okay, and it only makes him feel worse. If he hadn't been such an idiot...

He gives in, with not much reluctance, and heads to the Great Hall. Valka is sitting with Toothless, who is lying at the foot of the dais where his father's throne is placed. It's Hiccup's throne now…and it has never looked larger, or more intimidating.

He turns his back on it and runs a hand gently over Toothless' head. "Oh, buddy. I wish you could tell me what happened…do you think it was the ice?"

Valka shakes her head, brow furrowed. "I don't think it was" she says finally, dismayed. "All these bruises…some have faded more than others, which means they didn't all happen at the same time. And the ice covered his wings too, but they're not bruised."

Hiccup frowns. If the bruises weren't on his wings, and they hadn't been made all at once, then…it almost seemed like Toothless had been _beaten._ But how…suddenly, Hiccup sees it in his mind's eye, clear as crystal. Drago's bullhook. The way he'd struck Toothless with it. What if, whilst he had the Night Fury in his clutches, he had... _How dare he…how dare he?!_ Hiccup's fists clench.

Valka notices his dark expression, asks him what's wrong. He tells her. " _No_ " she gasps, looking down at Toothless in dismay. "Oh, Toothless…that _monster…_ Oh, you poor thing…" she croons, torn between her rage at Drago's cruelty, and her sympathy for the beautiful black dragon she has already come to see as a second son. Her true son, the one she'd borne, is stroking Toothless' head, his own hanging low. "I'm sorry, Toothless. I'm so sorry" he murmurs. Toothless moans in his sleep, but doesn't stir.

"Hiccup…it's not your fault. Drago" –

"Wouldn't have had him if I hadn't pushed him away" Hiccup says bitterly. _And I wouldn't have pushed him away if I had just…if I'd only…!_ "I let him go, mom. I let him go and I…I almost lost him." There are tears in his eyes. Some Chief he's turning out to be. Then again, there's nobody around…except his mother, who doesn't seem to care as she draws him into a hug. She tells him again that it isn't his fault, he couldn't have known Drago would do that, but he knows it doesn't change anything. It _is_ his fault.

* * *

Astrid, Gobber and Gothi come with compresses for Toothless' bruises. "Good news – there are no casualties. We've got the livestock rounded up – they're all accounted for, thankfully, just really shaken up. And we're stocking up on food and water.

"Our dragons have helped… The new ones are still kind of skittish, and I can't really blame them, but your mom has been keeping them calm" Astrid explains as she helps tend to the poor dragon's injuries. "Did you figure out how he'd been hurt?"

Hiccup takes a deep breath. "I think Drago beat him" he admits. Astrid gasps. "That bullhook of his..what happened to it?" he questions.

"It..It's on the cliff. It got knocked away when the ice exploded, but it's still there, I think."

"Get rid of it. Drop it in the sea, or heck, Gobber can melt it down for scrap. I'd do it myself, but…I'm sorry, Astrid. I know I should be helping, I'm the _Chief,_ but I…I can't leave him like this. Not now. This is all my fault."

"No, it's not! Hiccup, there's nothing you could have done" Astrid insists, placing a hand on his shoulder. He turns away from her. She means well, he knows, but she's wrong. There _is_ something he could have done, and if he had, if he hadn't been so stupid, none of this would have happened.

"Hold up, you two" says Gobber, " Gothi's got something to tell us." The village elder is writing on a wax tablet; it's easier than scribbling in the dirt, and besides they're indoors. Once she's finished, she holds it up to the light for Gobber to read. He squints at the runes she's carved and says, "Huh…she says that when he wakes up, she can hypnotise him into forgetting the beating, to put his mind at ease."

Hiccup shakes his head. "It won't help. Sooner or later, something will make him remember." He grits his teeth, frustrated and despairing. "I should have been there for him!"

"Hiccup…" Astrid begins, but she's interrupted by Gobber.

"Hang on, Astrid. Gothi's writing something else." She finishes carving a message into a second tablet, and Gobber peers at it over her shoulder. "She says she can hypnotise _you,_ Hiccup, and let you see what happened to Toothless when he was…y'know. Wait a second, since when can you do that?" he asks incredulously. She writes a reply, but her answer only befuddles him more. "Eh? It's for plot con- _what_?!"

Can she really do that? Hiccup finds himself hoping she actually can; after all, Toothless can't tell him what had happened, and he deserves to know just what he's put his best friend through. "Gothi? I'm on board" he says determinedly. At first she looks surprised, then knowing, then sad. She writes a final message on the third tablet. Gobber reads, "You won't be able to do anything. You'll have to just watch and listen. You'll feel what he does."

Hiccup takes a deep breath, and nods. "I understand. I'm ready."

* * *

He can see, and hear, but he can't move. He's seeing everything as if he were a ghost, standing apart, but he can _feel_ what Toothless felt. His confusion and unease as the Alpha stops controlling him – Hiccup realises only then that Toothless hadn't known what he'd done at the time.

Hiccup has to watch as Toothless creeps up to his father's body, full of worry and confusion and sadness, only for his – his past self – to shove him away. "No! Get away from him!" He feels just how much the rejection hurt, how Toothless ached to comfort him, fearing he was mad with grief.

 _You just wanted to help me…Oh, Toothless…_

"Go on! Get out of here!"

' _Hiccup, what's wrong? What happened? I care for him…he can't be dead…'_ he…hears, for lack of a better word, Toothless think.

Hiccup wants to yell at his past self. He wants to hug Toothless and apologise. He can feel how much it hurts Toothless to see Stoick dead and his best friend turning on him in anger. _It's not his fault! I'm sorry, bud. It's not your fault._

He can't move. He can only watch as Toothless slinks off, dejected and lonely. He feels Toothless' pain, the guilt he doesn't understand and can't name twisting like a knife in his chest. The blankness in his mind, with the knowledge of what has really happened lurking just out of reach. Some part of him knows, and it tears at him inside.

 **FLY**.

Hiccup watches helplessly as Toothless cringed from his – his family – and tries to obey the Alpha's command, even though he can't fly on his own. He flutters, crashes, flounders. **FLY**. He pushes back against the command, just as bull-headed as his other-half…he crashes again. **FLY**.

 _He can't fly! Leave him alone!_

Hiccup has to watch as Drago, smirking maliciously, strides over to his struggling dragon and yanks him down with that wretched hook. Pins him down, straddles him – _No! Get off him, he's mine!_ **FLY** The Alpha's command again, and this time Toothless manages to rise, just barely.

Hiccup senses how Toothless can't fly with his mind blank, not without _him_ in the saddle. They are one. Drago is forcing his mind to be present, to not crash, to obey the command of **FLY** "Stay in the air, dumb beast!" Drago spits, striking his neck. The pain jolts through Hiccup as well.

 _Toothless!_

His poor dragon tries to blank his mind, to put everything else aside and only follow the Alpha's will. He's falling! Drago – the stupid man hasn't worked the pedal properly, forcing Toothless to try and move it himself. "Stupid animal! MOVE!" Another strike.

 _He's_ trying _! Stop hurting him!_

He feels Toothless struggle to find a compromise, between the Alpha's will pressing his mind into blankness, and consciously compensating for Drago's awful, rough and crude yanking on the pedal. He senses when Toothless managed to align his mind with that of the Bewilderbeasts', and then…

* * *

The memory rushes in. Suddenly, Hiccup is forced to watch his best friend turn on him all over again. This time, though, he can feel Toothless' utter horror as the dragon sees, for the first time, what had really happened, the monster he'd become.

 _No, no, no. You're not a monster, you're not!_

He senses Toothless thinking that if he had seen such a menacing threat to his human, he would have killed it, without mercy. He feels his dragon's anguish at the realisation that _he_ had turned that mercilessness against Hiccup himself. The horror as his past self stumbles backwards, never defending himself, because the thought of him drawing his sword against Toothless is unthinkable…

* * *

Pain! Drago is striking him – them – screaming at Toothless as they plummet. "Fly! Useless animal! Fly!" _Stop it! Leave him alone! It's not_ his _fault you have no idea what you're doing!_

 **FLY**

' _No'_ Toothless resists, ' _Why should I? If I fall into the sea, Drago will drown. I won't try to swim. Stoick will be avenged, and…it's the least I owe his son, even if he never knows. I don't deserve to call him by his name, now. Not after this.'_

Hearing Toothless resign himself to death is agony. _Oh,_ Toothless _. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!_

Drago _finally_ figures out how to work the pedal, and Toothless levels off with a howl of despair. They fly towards Berk, but he still can't get in sync with Drago, and he keeps thinking…of crashing on purpose, causing both their deaths. It hurts Hiccup as much as, perhaps even worse than, Drago's blows.

It gets worse. He senses Toothless thinking how even though he doesn't want to die, he deservesdeath. _No, you don't!_ How his life is forfeit. How he'd be sentenced to death as a human, and as an animal – a dragon – the mate or young of the tribe's alpha would kill the one who murdered him.

 _It wasn't you! It wasn't your fault, bud…_

Then the worst thought of all – Toothless' greatest fear is dying by Hiccup's hand. He _knows_ Hiccup wouldn't hurt him, but in his worst nightmares, something comes between them and he…he couldn't hurt Hiccup…he would let Hiccup cut out his heart. _I'd never do that. I would_ never _do that!_

All Toothless can think about is the rage and hatred of Hiccup's past self, as he'd so callously sent Toothless away. Hiccup senses it, and feels so guilty. _I never should have sent you away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!_ He senses Toothless thinking he should keep himself alive for Hiccup to kill – _no! I don't want that!_

He watches – he can do nothing else – as Toothless, desperate to end it all, closes the living half of his tail-fin and plummets as they approach Berk. Drago bellows and strikes him again, yanking at the saddle and forcing Toothless to pull up. They crash land. "Stupid BEAST!" Drago roars, leaping from the saddle and yanking it with that _blasted_ hook. He drags Toothless round and smashes him against a rock.

The pain is drowned out by Hiccup's anger. _Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!_ Drago brings the hook smashing down on Toothless' ribs, and the dragon shrieks. Hiccup wants to shriek too. "I'll break you in…" the monster growls, his weapon thudding against Toothless' head, his limbs… "teach you to respect your master."

* * *

That tears it. Hiccup is – more than angry – he's so far beyond _enraged_ that he doesn't know _what_ he's feeling. He forgets that he can't move, forgets that he's not really there – he even forgets that he's a weakling. "STOOOP!" he screams, running headfirst into Drago and sending the monster flying.

He wrenches the bullhook from Drago's hands and thrashes him with it. "Let's see how _you_ like it!" he yells, blinded by rage. "This is for killing my dad! And this is for hurting MY dragon! And _this_ is for everything else!" Drago shrinks as Hiccup whales on him, until he disappears completely and Hiccup is only striking empty air and ground. Finally, he snaps the bullhook in half, just for good measure.

Hiccup stands there, chest heaving. Some part of him wonders if this is how Toothless had felt, when he'd blasted apart that ice and challenged the Alpha. It's a heck of a rush. His memory jogs, and he turns to Toothless…only to find the dragon cowering in the snow, staring at Hiccup with wide eyes, gaze flicking from his face to the pieces of weapon in his hands.

Starting, Hiccup flings the halves of the hook as far away from him as he can. Then he drops down besides Toothless – his friend whines fearfully and closes his eyes, giving in. He's willing to lie there and let Hiccup beat him with a mace, break his wings, cut his tail off, snap his spine – anything to be punished enough for Hiccup to forgive him.

"But I do forgive you! I have!" he cries, feeling sick at the terrible thoughts he can sense running through Toothless' mind. "I'm sorry Toothless, I'm so sorry, it's not your fault, I forgive you, I'm sorry…" he rambles as he reaches out to soothe.

Poor Toothless is so confused. _'Hiccup?'_

"It's me, bud. It's me. I'm right here" Hiccup says reassuringly, stroking Toothless' head, keeping his voice gentle. All of the rage and anguish that had built up inside him had been released when he attacked Drago, and now he feels drained.

' _I don't understand…you weren't here… before.'_

Hiccup realises then that if he's seeing Toothless' memories, that means his best friend was reliving them. " _Oh,_ Toothless, I'm so sorry. I never meant to – I thought I deserved to know what I made you suffer, and I didn't realise you'd have to go through it all again. I should have let Gothi make you forget, I am so, so sorry" –

' _I'm still confused. Tell me everything.'_

* * *

So Hiccup explains, and Toothless listens. When he's finished, Toothless asks, _'Gothi made me dream about being Drago's mount to show you what happened when you weren't there?'_

"Yeah…I have no idea how she did it. I'm sorry, bud. She said I'd see your memories, but I didn't think you might relive them. I just had to know how badly I'd hurt you. If I'd known all that would happen to you, I would _never_ have let him take you away. I am _so_ sorry, Toothless."

Toothless' pupils are wide, but his eyes are sad. ' _You were right to send me away'_ he whimpers, looking away in shame, ' _I killed Stoick. I nearly killed_ you.'

"It wasn't your fault. It was Drago and his Bewilderbeast, they're the ones who killed him. Toothless, look at me, please?" Hiccup begs. When the dragon finally looks up at him, he says, "You…you thought I was gonna…Toothless, do you really believe I would k-kill you…?" Tears prick his eyes at the very thought of it. "I would _never_ hurt you, bud."

Toothless whimpers. _'You were angry... You'd be right to want me dead…I'd deserve it.'_ Hiccup can still sense the guilt running through his best friend. "I stopped being angry with you the moment I realised Drago was taking you away. I was an _idiot_. I should never have blamed you. I have no right to blame you when…when it's _my fault_ that Dad is dead."

Toothless pulls back in shock. _'No!'_

"It's true. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry…"

' _It's not your fault. How can it be?! You didn't do anything!_ ' Toothless protests. He can understand Hiccup forgiving him - it's just the way his human is – but he can't fathom what gave Hiccup the idea he was in any way to blame for Stoick's death.

"Exactly. I didn't do the one thing I should have done – I didn't _listen_. Dad warned me, mom warned me, even Eret warned me…kind of. Everyone who _knew_ Drago told me he was a monster, that he couldn't be reasoned with, but I still thought I could change his mind…what was I _thinking_? That he'd pet your snout and suddenly like dragons as much as I did? I was s-so _s-stupid!_ " He sobs.

Toothless curls around him and nuzzles him as he cries. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…dad…Toothless…I'm sorry!" His grief spills over to Toothless, and the dragon roars softly, whining deep in his throat. ' _It's not your fault, Hiccup. You didn't know he would do that. You couldn't know.'_

"I s-should've known…he _told_ me…why didn't I listen? If I'd just _listened_ for once in my life…" Hiccup is all but inconsolable. _What a way to start. The new Alpha faints, and the new Chief lets himself be hypnotised by a crazy little woman with a staff._

' _Hiccup, you forgive me, don't you?'_

"Yes. I really, really do."

' _And I forgive you. I won't blame myself if you don't blame yourself. Okay?'_ His friends eyes are wide and earnest, and Hiccup can't help but smile. "Okay, bud. I…I promise to try." Toothless licks the tears from his face, and he smiles a bit more. "Thanks, buddy."

' _You're welcome. So…what now?_ '

For a moment, Hiccup wishes he could stay here with Toothless. Yet the scene around them is fading; Toothless is fading; and he knows he's waking up. "You rest, bud, and when you've woken up…we've got a lot of work to do. Think you're up to it?"

' _Do you?'_

"Not even close…but I still have to try. It's what dad would have wanted. I'll see you when you wake up."

' _Hiccup?'_

"Yeah?"

' _Thank you…'_

* * *

"Hiccup…? Hiccup?" Someone is shaking his shoulder. Astrid, it's Astrid; she's looking down at him, face full of worry…it seems like the perfect time for a cheesy pick up line.

"Am I in Valhalla, or did a Valkyrie come down to see me?" Hiccup asks. She punches his arm for that. He sits up, rubbing it, and looks around. He's still in the Great Hall, but it's a lot more crowded than he remembers. Stormfly and Cloudjumper are blocking him and Toothless from view with their wings.

"Hiccup, you've been out of it for hours. Gothi said not to disturb you until now – you were fine at first but then you started screaming, and then you were sobbing and then you sort of just collapsed…what happened? Did you…really see Toothless' memories?" Astrid asks him.

Gothi is there, appearing almost out of nowhere. "I thought you said I wouldn't be able to do anything" he asks her. She merely smiles, and he realises that she _knew,_ somehow, that he'd be able to interfere and save Toothless from his nightmare. He decides not to be cross with her for somehow giving Toothless the nightmare in the first place – she might curse him and his descendants, or something.

He gives her a nod of thanks, and turns to Astrid, who is staring at him expectantly. "It's…a long story. I don't want to talk about it now. There's too much to do, and I'm the one who needs to do it."

"…Okay…but are you alright?"

He's about to say 'Yes', but then he decides to be honest. "No" he shakes his head, looking down at Toothless. There's a small smile on the dragon's face; he seems at peace. "…but we will be."

* * *

A/N: I hope this turned out okay. There'll be more to come from me soon, guys, and I wish you all a safe and happy 2018 ;)


End file.
